I miss my friends. My body aches to move in the gym. I miss my Saturday breakfast dates with my husband at our favorite coffee shop. I miss wandering around visiting all of our favorite businesses on the square. I miss visiting friends for wine nights and small group. I miss living life outside of the four walls I call home.
It’s an emotional time right now. No one really knows what to say other than “I know the feeling” Or they say nothing at all. I’ve been in what feels like a limbo for two weeks now, wondering if this is a dream come true. Getting to sit at home and rest my body, meditate, and reset. Or is this s nightmare I will never wake up from. Overall though, I just feel lonely.
I think about the Doctors, nurses, first responders, and people at the front lines
They are tired, running out of energy and supplies, and we can’t seem to get everyone on the same page that COVID-19 is real. And it is here. It is here to turn a seemingly active lively young folks to weak and gasping for air. It’s here to take our elderly away, our friends who are immune compromised, and countless more. It’s not just the flu, and the front lines know that. They’ve seen the worst of the worst, laid bodies to rest, scrambled to save patients, they know what this virus can do. These people at the front lines are sacrificing their time and energy to save, stop, and prevent the spread of this virus. They are the hero’s in my eyes right now.
We even received a mailer from the government on ways to protect ourselves from COVID-19. Things like Wash Your Hands, Work or Study From Home, If You Feel Sick Stay Home, and so on. I just stared at it when it came in my mailbox. Not only are the doctors and nurses telling us to stay safe, the government is. And I don’t know which one scares me more.
And just like that, everything changed.
I filed for unemployment. I was put on a group call telling us we are going on an unpaid leave of absence until further notice too. I felt my heart drop to the floor, and immediately thought “What am I going to do?” Because let’s be honest, I am a 23 year old still finding my way in this world. So all I could do was cry. I cried for my co workers who lost their jobs before this, for my very real future, for our seemingly broken world. I cried when I read 3.8 million Americans filed for unemployment the week of March 16th, and I am sure another 3.8 will apply this week, myself included in that number. I’ve become a statistic we will tell our kids about 10 years from now.
The one thing that has kept me grounded though is the reminder that God is in control.
A coworker sent me a message of encouragement after we were off our call saying we were on unpaid leave, and able to apply for unemployment. She sent me the verse John 16:33 “I have told you all this so you may have peace in me (Jesus). Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” John 16:33. I took the verse, saved it in my bible app, and have been praying peace over this verse and my community.
Times are hard, for everyone. We are not alone in our troubles, and that has begun to give me comfort. Times like these, it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I pray that all of you take this time, and restore your bodies. Find love in running again, find love in the flow and quietness of yoga, find love in being quarantined with your 4 year old who asks every. question. known. to. man. Find love in family again. Find love in growing your business, and expanding your spirit.
As crazy as it sounds, this feels like the pause I have been praying for. God knows as humans, we won’t stop for just anything, it takes quite a bit for us to pause. Whether its illness, scheduled vacation, a layoff, we won’t pause to reflect. We have been given the gift of pause, as crazy as the times are. We have been given these moments before Easter of a biblical Jubilee year to pause and reconnect with our spirit. While I may be crazy to think of it as a blessing, thats what I am calling it.
Right now, We need our community more than ever
We are in this together as a collective community. Community is how we will overcome these troubles, not alone. In this unique time, we are all going through the same thing. Feelings of uncertainty, scared, worried, bored, a whole spectrum of feelings. Which means now more than ever we can be empathetic towards one another. We finally have a chance to all be on the same playing field.
Support local when and where you can. Call up your local favorite restaurant and order in. Buy an online gift card from your favorite boutique. Continue to share their work on your social media pages. They are hurting just like you right now. Show kindness and patience with servers and people deemed essential workers. Tell them Thank You. They are working to keep us moving forward in these times. Tell the loan officer on the phone “Thank you for your time. You are appreciated”. Call your friends and family, but most importantly. Take care of yourself during this time.
As always, I am here to talk, to anyone who is hurting right now. We will get through this together and come out of the other side stronger, more compassionate, and understanding as a community.